To Be Appreciated

I mentioned before that I run. Not that I am a runner or that I like running. Just that I run. I run for what it does for my heart, my body, and my emotions.

When it's over, that is.

While I'm in the actual process of running, my heart, body, and even emotions all hurt. They don't like being pushed to grow or manipulated for my gain. My body even rebels, by turning my face a bright red, which lends people to ask me if I'm all right, even when I'm at the stage where I've barely broken a sweat.

I run in the evening for a number of reasons. One, it doesn't matter if my face stays red after my shower if I'm just going to bed. Two, it's cooler. And three, I am less likely to meet other people on the trail. Particularly those people who seem to run with ease, not ending, as I do, with my son looking at me and commenting, "Wow, Mom. You're REALLY sweaty."

Tonight, however, I ran into quite a few people. As I was moving to the side of the path and trying to avert my eyes from an entire family coming my way, the woman looked straight at me, smiled a huge smile and announced, "Great Job!!!!"

Great. Job.

Those two words have a crazy amount of meaning. They get thrown out there as a filler, a part of a "compliment sandwich," and an easy transition into, ". .  but you need to work on." But in the right context, that moment when I was struggling between embarrassment and sweaty exhaustion, it was a lifeline.

I ran further and more quickly than I have in a while, maintaining enough energy for a sprint at the end. Could two words really have done that?

In a study that I've heard quoted often enough that it has become apocryphal (if you need a citation, grumble at me in the comments), Employers thought that higher pay and job security were the top two things that their workers wanted, but when the workers were polled, the two most important issues for them were to have meaningful work and to be appreciated.

Appreciation is a tricky concept. I show appreciation to my employees through an email, a text, an award, a thank you card, but these often come when they're doing well. What was different about my experience with the stranger on my run was that the encouragement, and really appreciation, came when I was at a low point, not a high one.

Could it be that we're going about this all wrong? Yes, we should praise the behavior we want to see, but maybe what employees are often looking for is praise for the person they are, especially when they're struggling to do what's right, and don't have the results yet. This is where appreciation and encouragement meet. After all, the woman wasn't praising my success at running. She was praising that I was doing it. That I was fighting and struggling to make myself better.

And because of that, I did.